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BANGER PICKS
HARD SUGGESTIONS
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Roadsaw
"Rawk 'N' Roll"
Luna Sound
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THE AMERICAN
LONGHAIR (A CASE STUDY): On the verge of extinction, the elusive and
often dangerous male American Longhair can still be found in its dwindling
natural habitat, the rock 'n' roll night club. Crouching in the dark
recesses of the bar, his diet consists mainly of a steady flow of beer
and ale. Though largely considered solitary creatures they are often
seen traveling in packs of three or four, known as a band, searching
for the female of the species for mating and recreational purposes.
Once a female is spotted, the competition among the band grows fierce,
each male brandishing weapons of choice in order to gain the females
attention. These weapons, also called instruments, aren't necessarily
used to kill (though it has been known to happen). But rather as mating
calls with each member doing his best to make the loudest noise and
to get the most attention. This performance ritual is usually punctuated
with impressive displays of jumping, kicking and hooting. The spoils
of victory not only include the right to mate with the female, but the
respect of the other males in the band as well. A prime example of the
American Longhair can be found in Boston, where a long surviving pack
known as Roadsaw is based. This band has managed to survive the harsh,
insufferable climate known as the business and actually evolve, over
time, into a virtually unstoppable force, often roaming to distant territories,
ravaging each and moving on in search of fresh beer and females to quence
their insatiable lust. Even such natural enemies as hip hop and the
slyly deceptive teen pop have failed in their attemps to exterminate
them completely. If one should encounter Roadsaw, be warned. Attempts
to domesticate have proven impossible. The noise they make is loud and
brash, their thirst deep and they will go to great lengths to mate.
Approcah with caution.
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